It’s heartbreaking when your loved one stands at the door, packed and ready to leave, insisting they need to “go home”—even though they’re already in the house they’ve lived in for decades. You try explaining where they are, showing them their bedroom, reminding them of the years they’ve spent there, but it only makes them more agitated, confused, or upset. Every attempt to reason with them feels like it backfires.
The truth is, when someone with dementia says they want to go home, they’re rarely talking about a physical place. They’re expressing a longing for safety, comfort, or a sense of belonging—perhaps a childhood home, a time when their mother was alive, or simply a feeling of being secure. Arguing about where they are only increases their fear and frustration.
The strategies that work focus on reassurance instead of correction. Validating their feelings, gently redirecting their attention to comforting activities, addressing unmet needs like hunger or fatigue, and creating a familiar environment with photos and music can help them feel safe without escalating the situation. Download our “Going Home” guide to learn practical techniques for responding with compassion when your loved one is searching for home.
